#Aboutme

One of the things I know about myself is that I’m lousy at expressing myself. I’m what they call ka Sesotho, le tlaila.

pain

pain

I’m really hurt by a situation that sits heavy in my heart right now. I apologised and believe me I wasn’t in the wrong I just wanted to make peace, but as human nature would have it, it was mistook for accepting the blame. Tables got turned and I was in the wrong. Even then out of respect and peace I just took it!! I sat there and my heart got shot at mercilessly!

Like why is it okay for me to take in hurtful comments that have nothing to do with the issue at hand, why must I be the one who backs down cause other people have feelings and I don’t?

wishlist

wishlist

Some people have so much power, they’ll make you feel like your existance was God’s greatest mistake. And yena this God that I’ve been praying to day in and day out o kae nou? Ke mmatla nou not tomorrow. I’m hurt NOW and what answers RIGHT now!!

Read about accepting an apology you’ve never received here—>http://www.justcurious.co.za/2013/10/accepting-an-apology-you-never-got/ GOOD READ

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  • A body of politics

    You can never find the truth in others if you can’t find the truth in yourself. My name is Madika and I’m on the heavy side of the scale. I’m a fairly healthy 29 year old.

    Eating, problem much?

    Eating, problem much?

    Growing up I had body image issues, when I got to my teens I gained weight, in my early twenties I became a thickish woman, at 25 I had a baby and ofcourse like all “normal’ people I took a while to get rid of the post baby fat, I got to my normal weight, well my new normal. My friends have all always been thin, some skinny, come to think of it I don’t think I had “fat” friends…anyway, my teens years where slightly diffuclt in terms of body image. I’ve had my moments but nothing going as far as eating disorders and crazy as diets. I don’t remember either in primary, high school or college ever getting teased for my weight. Even in the workplace, from my first job to my most recent job my weigh has never been an issue.

    I’m not one of those women who are in denial. I’m aware of the health risks of being overweight. I’m not obese, I don’t intend to. Guess I’ve been blessed in that I’ve always been surrounded by people who loved me for ME, not by how much I weighed. Over the years I’ve developed what I consider a healthy self image. I gain and loose weight depending on what’s happening in my life at a particular time or if I have deliberately followed a certain diet plan to loose weight.

    I was and still am deeply hurt by the cruel jokes about me and a few others eating snacks, I kept a brave face and laughed it off. I don’t remember ever asking for food from these people or borrowing money for food or even missing my commitments cause of food. I just can’t think of any logical reason why one would appoint themselves as the food police if they don’t get any joy from it, unless their joy lies in hurting others! I had never in my life felt so insulted, so disrespected and so bullied. I’ve been through school with the funniest/cruelest kids and not once did somebody tell me a cruel fat joke. I’ve never been called names, bullied or discriminated because of my weight. I’m even more hurt and sad that I can not address the issues freely. Had I known what the prerequisites of associating with these people were, I’d have made better decisions, maybe lost weight, prepared myself mentaly or walked!

    I want to be able to have a snack when I want to without the wrath of judgement and insults from the food police. I don’t know hey, maybe I’m just bitter that they insulted me when I had snacks but never said anything when I wasn’t eating those snacks and when I lost weight. Human nature maybe, when you do good no one sees but make one bad move and the whole world is on your case! But then again I never asked for approval. I’m realistic about my weight, I can loose weight and be healthy but I’ll never be size zero, I don’t have inspirations to be such because of unhappy bitter people.

    People should not use the powers they have to impose their weak self image and insecurities on others, especially if their weight is not a factor in whether or not the person is meeting their expectations. I just really cannot fathom the fact that grown people are making their problems mine, really? How is it my problem that you have a problem with my weight? Your opinion on my weight is not a deciding factor on whether I make it through the pearly gates or not. The sooner one makes peace with themselves, their weight and shubabas the better for all mankind.

    As a mature elder, I expected that the are ways to approach someone whom you feel is a health risk because of their weight. Don’t make snide and hurtful remarks. Recommend something that worked for you. Or even better take a good long look in the mirror!

    With all that said, when and if I ever decide I want to loose weight, it’ll happen and when it does it won’t change the price of bread. It will be my success, my journey and my life. I’ll be doing it for me and no one else.

    I could be overreacting or highly sensitive but MY BODY IS OFF LIMITS. This body is God’s temple and whether I polish it with vaskeres or sunbeam

    it’s an issue between me and God, no one else has a say!