It feels write

I'm just a girl, with a pen in my hand and my ink won't dry...

I’m just a girl, with a pen in my hand and my ink won’t dry…

I love writing. I love it. I love the beauty and freedom of words. Writing is for me is EVERYTHING. I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, and what it took for me to enjoy writing was a nod from my English teacher, I remember how impressed she was with my essays! If it were up to me I would have still kept those marked essays and assignments, where she had corrected my grammar, punctuation marks and a few spelling mistakes. My teacher would be proud if she knew that I have been writing a book, well, stories of good girl destined for greatness, it’s a story loosely based on my life, with a few spices here and there. Let me take this opportunity to blow my own horn: I’m PROUD of that! I’ve so far incorporated my own life’s events, changed the outcome of a few experiences and turned them into my desired outcome. I’m just loving this whole exercise, it’s a relief from the this crazy thing we call ‘life’! I have so many drafts…on my blog, on my twitter page…on my notebooks…errrwhere! I just need my English teacher back in my life to edit! Sometimes I just get too excited when I write and end up missing words, often making what I write senseless! As for grammar, I gave up on that, English is my third language as long as I get my point across!

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Love: Relationship Advice and Opinions by Joy

Let it go...

Let it go…

Hey Ladies,

Ever said to yourself, “I don’t care what happens, I need to know NOW!”

“I need to know NOW if we’re in a relationship or not!”

“I’m going to call him right now and ASK him flat out – I want an answer and I don’t care if this call ends the relationship. I can’t take this any more; I just have to know!!”

When you find yourself saying that in your head, let it be a red flag to your higher self.

Stop yourself from contacting him in that state of mind. Go do something completely different to get your mind off this.

The calm version of you KNOWS it won’t help to contact him when you’re full of frustration and anger.

Whatever the situation was… it will be a lot worse!

And your guy will be focused much more on the fact that he’s been “called on the carpet” than on whatever your true concern is.

Your true concern is wrapped around fear of loss.

Your fear of loss is wrapped around fear of getting hurt again.

With love,
J

Wise words from Joy Sesedi

Define your goals in a manner that suits you

Define your goals in a manner that suits you

GOALS. I hate that word. For me it represents a target that you either miss or hit. Relationships aren’t like that. Life isn’t like that. We need to celebrate small successes and be kinder to ourselves. Outcome is a more appropriate term. It represents a description of what you are hoping to achieve.
 
 A direction you are working towards.  For example, if I have an exam and my goal is to achieve 90%, anything less than that I am a failure. An outcome would be to increase my marks between 10 and 20%, to exceed my last best score. In relationships ‘goals’ are in the traditional sense ludicrous. SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Framed help improve achievement and success.  A SMART goal clarifies exactly what is expected and the measures used to determine if the goal is achieved and successfully completed.
 
By June 1st we will be kissing eight times a day for 5 minutes at a time. We are not robots when it comes to love and life. Businesses have goals, people have outcomes.
And even when we do have a clearly defined outcome, sometimes we are unsuccessful for the following reasons:
Insufficient Planning. Insufficient Knowledge. Ineffective Time management. Unrealistic Goals. Fear of Failure. Fear of Success.

Insufficient Planning:

When the steps to reach your goals are too big. Health is a process, love is a process, education is a process, CHANGE IS A PROCESS and not an EVENT. Swallowing a bottle of vitamins doesn’t make you healthy, one holiday doesn’t eradicate stress, a bunch of flowers and box of chocolates doesn’t mend a broken heart.
What information do you need?
How much time do you need each day or week?
How much money do you need?
Whose help do you need?
What resources or services do you need?
What would be the earliest sign you were starting to accomplish your goal?
How would you know you were well on your way to accomplishing your goal?
Insufficient Knowledge:
Good ideas are easy. Roll out and execution is the challenge. A lack of knowledge in the real life experience of what you are trying to achieve is the problem. To gain knowledge there are a variety of resources available to us in this age of information: books, internet, mentors and training.
 
Ineffective Time Management

Time is our greatest asset. We all have 24 hours a day. The difference between those that are successful and who achieve extraordinary results is their ability to make maximum use of those 24hours.
 
To succeed in one area, you have to drop some balls in another. Three rules of good time management:

Prioritise:

Write down all the roles in your life including the new role your goal requires of you and figure out which roles you are prepared to neglect n order to excel in the one you want success. E.g. Mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, coach, researcher, blogger, traveller, yogi, dancer, author, health nut, learner.

Make TO DO lists: Itemized lists identifying most important to least important tasks with a break down of daily, weekly and monthly ‘to dos’
Say “NO”: If you are a people pleaser and hate to disappoint others, your plan is most likely to unsuccessful because of the demands other people place on you. Agreeing to be helpful, supportive and present for other people on demand diminishes the time you have available for your own project. Figuring out what is a priority in your life and when to say yes and no is key to time management.

Unrealistic Goals

What are the odds?:  A basic rule of thumb: you need a better than even chance of achieving your goal, or it is not realistic. What are the odds against you of achieving your gal? 1000 to 1? 100 to 1? 10 to 1? Even? Better? Knowing what you do of human nature, your own personality, the way the world works, and probability, are the odds in your favour?

Do you have (or can you get) the prerequisites?If you are too short to play basketball, too busy for a relationship or not experienced enough for a particular job, it might be time to let go of that dream, for. Passion is a wonderful thing until it clouds your judgment so badly that you can’t discern realistic from unrealistic expectations. 
 
When five billionaires and experts in business give you feedback that your product is a waste of time and money, you would be amazed how many people tell them they are wrong.

Fear of Failure

The way to overcome fear of failure is to systematically assess the actual risk of failure. Determine the worst that can happen, assess the possible damage and coping strategies, and reduce your fear of failure to a reasonable level.
Complete a full risk assessment.  Identify the fear. Rate the probability of failure from 0 to 100%. Predict the worst possible consequences. Possible coping thoughts.  Possible coping actions. Evidence against the worst possible outcome. Some alternative outcomes. Re-rate  the probability of the feared failure. Remember, worry is a magnet to problems. Focus on what you believe you can achieve and imagine how it will feel to succeed- this attracts results.

Fear of Success.

This is when you want the good things in life but somehow don’t believe you deserve it. It is when you fear success will set you up for a bigger fall later e.g. Others will envy you and turn against you, or become too dependent and you will crumble under the responsibility. This one is linked to low levels of self worth and managed best with a coach/counsellor/therapist that can help you separate yourself from the negative self talk and reestablish new belief systems that will empower you. Regardless of what we have done or not done, we are all worthy of love, peace and joy, it is our birth right. Unfortunately many of us have childhood experiences that teach us we are not deserving or worthy.  This can be remedied by re-parenting yourself as an adult and creating new attitudes/beliefs that serve, inspire and empower you.

So there you have it. 
 
 A strong self-concept and sense of worthiness has two components: learning to think about yourself in healthy ways and the ability to make things happen. To see what you want, to go for it and then to achieve. This is what creating an inspired life is all about. If you are not achieving, it might be less about who you are and more about a lack of planning and strategy. As long as you are on a trajectory moving forward towards an outcome you are achieving. Sometimes development takes two steps back before it takes one giant leap forward. Be kind to yourself along the way. Take tiny steps. Failure is feedback on what you need to do differently, not the end of the journey.

Remove goal from your vocabulary and focus on the objectives and outcomes you desire in your life

Guest post: Health Tips by Joy Sesedi

A friend of MashDiva World thought she’d share these amazing health tips, enjoy!!

Ginger – The smart person’s aspirin

Top 10 Health Benefits of Ginger

1. Ginger is used in the treatment of ovarian cancer. Ginger powder induces cell death in all ovarian cancer cells to which it was applied.
2. As Ginger contains anti viral, anti toxic, and anti fungal properties, and is used for the prevention of and treatment against the common cold. The intake of ginger helps stimulate the secretion of mucus, quieting your cough and soothing any scratchiness I your throat.
3. The health benefit of ginger is it acts as an antihistamine and aids in the treatment of allergies.
4. Since Ginger contains special enzymes responsible for catalyzing the proteins in your food, it provides the best health benefits helping in digestion and the prevention of cramps.
5. Ginger has proven to help lower your cholesterol levels and prevent the formation of blood clots.
6. Ginger has been used by pregnant women to ward off the morning sickness. Ginger may be effective for nausea and vomiting in pregnant women when used for short periods.
7. Fresh ginger juice if applied to minor burns as well as skin irritations provides immediate relief.
8. Ginger oil is used in spas and saloons for a perceived refreshing effect on one’s mind and a potential ability to reduce arthritic pain.
9. Ginger can also be used for reducing toothache.
10. Ginger may be used by children over 2 years of age to treat nausea, stomach cramping, and headaches.

What we are today comes from our thoughts of yesterday , and our present thoughts build our life of tomorrow .Our life is the creation of our mind
 

~ Turmeric :: Health Benefits ~

The active ingredient in turmeric is curcumin. Tumeric has been used for over 2500 years in India, where it was most likely first used as a dye.
The medicinal properties of this spice have been slowly revealing themselves over the centuries. Long known for its anti-inflammatory properties, recent research has revealed that turmeric is a natural wonder, proving beneficial in the treatment of many different health conditions from cancer to Alzheimer’s disease.

Here are 20 reasons to add turmeric to your diet:
1. It is a natural antiseptic and antibacterial agent, useful in disinfecting cuts and burns.
2. When combined with cauliflower, it has shown to prevent prostate cancer and stop the growth of existing prostate cancer.
3. Prevented breast cancer from spreading to the lungs in mice.
4. May prevent melanoma and cause existing melanoma cells to commit suicide.
5. Reduces the risk of childhood leukemia.
6. Is a natural liver detoxifier.7. May prevent and slow the progression of Alzheimer’s disease by removing amyloyd plaque buildup in the brain.
8. May prevent metastases from occurring in many different forms of cancer.
9. It is a potent natural anti-inflammatory that works as well as many anti-inflammatory drugs but without the side effects.
10. Has shown promise in slowing the progression of multiple sclerosis in mice.
11. Is a natural painkiller and cox-2 inhibitor.
12. May aid in fat metabolism and help in weight management.
13. Has long been used in Chinese medicine as a treatment for depression.
14. Because of its anti-inflammatory properties, it is a natural treatment for arthritis and rheumatoid arthritis.
15. Boosts the effects of chemo drug paclitaxel and reduces its side effects.
16. Promising studies are underway on the effects of turmeric on pancreatic cancer.
17. Studies are ongoing in the positive effects of turmeric on multiple myeloma.
18. Has been shown to stop the growth of new blood vessels in tumors.
19. Speeds up wound healing and assists in remodeling of damaged skin.
20. May help in the treatment of psoriasis and other inflammatory skin conditions.

Turmeric can be taken in powder or pill form. It is available in pill form in most health food stores, usually in 250-500mg capsules.
Once you start using turmeric on a regular basis, it’s fun to find new ways to use it in recipes.

Contraindications: Turmeric should not be used by people with gallstones or bile obstruction. Though turmeric is often used by pregnant women, it is important to consult with a doctor before doing so as turmeric can be a uterine stimulant.

Source~ Healthdiaries

Top Ten Great Health Benefits of Eating Cherries

1. Cherries, known as a “super-fruit”, are packed with antioxidants called anthropocentric which aid in the reduction of heart disease and cancer.

2. Cherries are one of the few food sources that contain melatonin, an antioxidant that helps regulate heart rhythms and the body’s sleep cycles.

3. Cherries are an excellent source of beta carotene (vitamin A). In fact they contain 19 times more beta carotene than blueberries and strawberries.

4. Cherries are rich in vitamins C, E, potassium, magnesium, iron, folate and fiber.

5. Cherries are referred to as “brain food”, aiding in brain health and in the prevention of memory loss.

6. Because cherries contain anthocyanins, they can reduce inflammation and symptoms of arthritis and gout.

7. Eating cherries reduces the risk of diabetes.

8. Cherries are a good source of fiber which is important for digestive health.

9. Cherries are a great snack or dessert choice important for weight-maintenance.

10. Because of their powerful anti-inflammatory benefits, cherries are said to reduce pain and joint soreness for runners and athletes after workouts.

Health Benefits of Tomatoes!

– Helps prevent several kinds of cancer
– Good for your kidneys
– Helps repair damage caused by smoking.
– Good for your skin.
– Good for your vision
– Full of anti-oxidants
– Helps maintain strong bones
– Good for your hair.

” Health Benefits of Dates “~

1) Dates are free from cholesterol and contain very low fat. Dates are rich in vitamins and minerals.
2) They are rich source of protein, dietary fiber and rich in vitamin B1, B2, B3 and B5 along with vitamin A1 and C.
3)It helps improve the digestive system as it contains soluble and insoluble fibers and different kinds of amino acids.
4) Dates are great energy boosters as they contain natural sugars like glucose, sucrose and fructose. To get more advantage add dates to milk and make it a very nutritious snack.
5)Dates are very low in calories and are extremely suitable for health conscious people.
6) Dates are rich in potassium and reduced in sodium. This helps regulate a healthy nervous system. Researches have revealed the fact that potassium intake up to a certain extent can reduce risk of stroke.7) Dates also help in lowering of the LDL cholesterol.
Dates have high iron content and are very useful in treating anemia. The patients can eat many dates for better advantages.
9) Dates also have fluorine that slows down the process of tooth decay.
10) It helps people suffering from constipation. Soak dates overnight and take it along with water to have added advantage.
11) Dates help in weight gain and are beneficial for those who suffer from over slimming problem.
12) Dates are excellent for alcoholic intoxication.Cures abdominal cancer.
13) It also helps in improving eye sight and helps in curing night blindness as well.
“The best thing is that it does not have any side effect on the body and is completely natural as well as it works better than medicine.”

PSA this is a VENT!!

Stalkers never sparkle

Stalkers never sparkle

Ha motho ba tseba dintho ka wena, dinto tseo eleng hore ha ba di utlwa ka wena, ho bolela hore ba o lateletse ka morao, ba o phenyekolla ho ya ho ile! Ana ho lokile hore ba dule ntse ba sheba se o se ngolang mohaleng wa hao wa thekeng ka wats app, hobaneng motho a sa shebe bophelo ba hae ake aiteke hore a be betere ho seo aleng sona? Ke ipotsa hore ba mpatlang a kana kana? Nna ke kgethile hore ke tla tswa ho bona ke shebe bonna! Ntho e monate ka nna ke hore okase nthente otla ‘tjhoukeya’, ke tshepe ha ke kobehe, ke modumedi ke ya rapela!! Wena etsa se ose tsebang, le nna ke tla etsa feela jwalo!! Hauweng!!!!!!!!!!!

Google me

Google me

Google me

I love technology, I love that I have a platform that I can express myself on without fear of judgement. I love that my life is so honest.

I’m aware and am deliberately laying my soul bare in cyber space for reasons that suit me. I am not selective of my audience, and I am aware that I can’t please everyone. If you don’t like what I write, it’s cool, it’s not for you, just don’t bring it up in irrelevant discussions. Rather leave a comment on the blog.

Please READ THE DISCLAIMER again, this blog is purely the results of my observant eye, my sharp ear and my curious mind.

Let’s be honest

keep going...no matter what

keep going…no matter what

How often do we acknowledge our part in the miseries we find ourselves in? Do we ever honeslty sit back and assess the situation as is? Are we objective in our negative view of others, how much responsibility do we take?

I’ve been/ am/ was in an unpleasant situation in my other life, and I’ve/am/ was complaing about how unfair, rude, evil and inconsiderate people were torwards me. Not once did I ever think of why they were being that way towards me. I really wondered why they’d have a problem with me when they didn’t know me personally… Never did I look at what it is that I might be doing for them to react that way! I wish I knew because I don’t like to make people unhappy, that would be defeating the purpose of my existance.

I am an avid reader, I’ve read so many self-help books, raging from personal motivation, to business to relationships and forth. The one thing that all these books have to say is that, one is responsible for their happiness, and I believe this, so much so that from this moment on I chose happiness, and I take responsibility and I will do what’s right!

I can’t be responsible for other peoples actions, because they will have to deal with the consequences, not me. Anyway, I’ve stopped wondering, at least I know that from my end I’ve been honest. I’ve always strived to do what is required; what’s wanted. I strive to feed that which keeps me sane, alive and happy. That which can not be ignored, neglected and discarded, that which protects and cares for me.

So think before you act and react. Honestly, ask yourself the purpose and consequences of your actions, take responsibility!

So dear friends (and other people), before you complain, what have you done today? Are you YOUR reason of misery? Could you have prevented how you’re feeling? What are YOU doing to correct the situation?…and before you scream Karma, what is it that you have done to have people treat you so ‘badly’?

In parting; love yourself enough to accept critisism and to better yourself. Do bear in mind, we are’nt all raised by the same parents (read: my parents) LOL!! Some people don’t have tact. Learn to read between the lines.

#mytwocentsworth

Corporate Sangoma Reloaded

Modimo or Badimo?

Modimo or Badimo?

2010 and 2011 have to be my most emotionallly taxing years! Here’s my story:

Corporate Sangoma: Just Curious

“Dear BS,

I am a 27 year old banker and I have a calling that cannot be ignored any longer.

I am a gifted child of Badimo and I have been told through dreams that I am the chosen one. I have spoken to a Sangoma colleague of mine who has confirmed my calling. It was not the first time that I had heard of this, random people have told me and I have always ignored it. I recently had mokete to celebrate my birthday and give thanks to those that have lived this life before me and I asked for guidance and protection from them. I am in a better space spiritually, I feel like I have found my niche for life though I’m a bit scared.

I’m planning kgo phahla so that I can request and acknowledge what I know now and further get guidance on how to fulfill this journey. I work for a bank and am worried about the perception and stigma attached to this calling. I am afraid of the reaction from my colleagues and friends and wonder if there aren’t any labour laws that would prevent me from being fired and or victimised in the workplace?

I worry about so many things. I worry about my social status (yes call me vain), I love going out and having fun, how will this new lifestyle I’m about to venture into fit in with the rest of my world? Does today’s society still have a place for cultural and traditional ways of living? I often wonder how the famed and fortunate deal with the calling without losing themselves. I have read that Thuli Sithole and Camagwini have had a calling and went on to honour it.

I wish someone could tell me how to live my newfound life?

Madika Mashiloane”

Well this is what happened, I spoke to my Mom, who wouldn’t entertain the thought of her only daughter being a sangoma, she point blank told me that she will pray for me and that I’m probably depressed or something. That was the last time we spoke about that.

I then spoke my confidante and bestest friend in the whole wide world and her response was ‘Madika, don’t fall for that, the devil uses people…blah…blah…blah’ I literally switched off and avoided her for a while. I felt judged…

It seemed like no one close to me understood what I was going through, or was at least willing to hear me out. I even a felt a sense of betrayal because I had always been there for them.

Well at the end of the day a decision had to be made and it had to be made my me. It was a tough decision and I had to be prepared to live with the consequences! I though long and hard and decided that being a sangoma doesn’t fit in to my lifestyle, in every sense and way! Nothing wrong with being a sangoma, but it just wasn’t for me. This didn’t necessarily mean that I was turning my back on my ancerstors, I just don’t wanna make a commitment that’s going to inconvenience my life. I also thought; if this calling was real sure, something was gona push me to make it happen. Something, anything would have happened!

But this has been a lesson in my life, I am very aware of my spirituality, I’m aware of my faith and I’m aware of God’s presence in my life. I’m blessed, loved and most importantly, I’m enlightened!

What I felt when I wrote that email to Lelo in 2011 was real, it was me laying my soul bare to strangers in search of answers, opinions and comments. In search for people who would pay attention to my dilemma. I didn’t care whether they’d judge me. I felt like I was at a cross roads.

Fast forward 2013, I’m here alive and kicking, no beads, or ‘nyoko’ nothing!! The thing about growing up is that you when you look back at your life, you either cringe, laugh or feel an overwhelming sense of pride! I’m just happy that this moment in my life was documented. I look back, read the comments, I nod, laugh, shake my head. In that order! 🙂

I’ve lived shem!

Corporate Sangoma Reloaded

In 2010 and 2011 have to be my most emotionallly taxing years! Here’s my story: Corporate Sangoma: Just Curious

Well this is what happened, I spoke to my Mom, who wouldn’t entertain the thought of her only daughter being a sangoma, she point blank told me that she will pray for me and that I’m probably depressed or something. That was the last time we spoke about that. I then spoke my confidante and bestest friend in the whole wide world and her response was ‘Madika, don’t fall for that, the devil uses people…blah…blah…blah’ I literaly switched off and avoided her for a while.

It seemed like no one close to me understood what I was going through, or was at least willing to hear me out. I even a felt a sense of betrayal because I had always been there for them. Well a decision had to be made and it had to be made my me. It was a tough decision and I had to be prepared to live with the consequences! Well I prayed, I decided that being a sangoma doesn’t fit in to my lifestyle, in every sense and way, this didn’t necessarily mean that I was turning my back on my ancerstors, I just don’t wanna make a commitment that’s going to inconvenience my life. I also thought; if this calling was real sure, something was gona push me to make it happen. Something anything would have happened!
But this has been a lesson in my life, I am very aware of my spirituality, I’m aware of my faith and I’m aware of God’s presence in my life. I’m blessed, loved and most importantly, I’m enlightened!

I’ve lived shem!